Taking Care of Your Parents: My Own Story

As we look to the future for our mother, the considerations have changed considerably. We talk about who has or hasn’t seen mom lately. We talk about the friends she has made, the way she has become social once again, and how we never seem to be able to reach her by phone, only to learn – each and every time – that it is because she is out ‘visiting’ with her friends at one or the other of the social rooms. These are all reasonably pleasant considerations.

A year ago, we were discussing the most recent time mom fell outside, […]

              There are many thoughts that crossed our minds when my brothers and I began this journey of taking care of our mother. If you have followed our story, you know that what Mom wanted more than anything was to remain in her own home. And, like good children, we did everything we could to make that happen. That was uppermost in our mind.

              Then, with time, it began to be clear that home was no longer the safest place for Mom to be alone. In-home care-givers helped, a little, but they could only break her fall (both figuratively and […]

    It has been most of a year since my mother moved into assisted living. We have seen her health improve, and we have watched her make new friends.  She attends church services every Sunday, something she did when she was younger and had her health, and she likes it very much when my brothers and I visit with her.

            So did my brothers and I make the right decision in forcing my mother to leave the home she loved for more than 40 years in order to move 4 hours away into an assisted living facility where she […]

Taking Care of Our Aging Parents “What do you have there?” 

“Nothing”

“Then let me see it.”

“No!”

This might sound like a conversation between you and your five-year-old who is suspiciously hiding something behind her back. It could be. Or, it could be that your aging parent just walked into the room while you were reviewing a brochure for the local nursing facility.

As an estate planning attorney, I assist my clients in drafting wills, powers of attorney, living wills, trusts, and all manner of documents which help put their estate plan in place. But sometimes, the legal documents are the easier […]

                When the day comes that your parent can no longer remain in their own home safely, reflect on all they have done for you. For each of us, this is a different story. Look at your childhood.  It may have been like “Leave It To Beaver”, with a loving, nurturing family in a safe neighborhood.  Perhaps it was less than that, or perhaps it was the opposite. Even if there was abuse in your past, that was then…this is today. If your aging parent or grandparent is no longer safe to be in their own home or apartment, […]

          Remember “My Three Sons” from the hay days of  black & white TV? Well, my two brothers and I are, perhaps, this generation’s version. Back then, Chip and Rob were worried about making Uncle Charlie mad if they brought mud into the living room. Today, these three sons have a few larger issues on our minds.

          “Did we do the right thing?”

          “Is Mom going to hate us for taking her away from her home that she lived in for over 40 years?”

          “Will Mom thrive or will she merely survive?”

          If you are asking yourself these questions […]