When you’re trying to make the right decision for your aging parent, it is easy to
fall into the ‘management’ mode.

 

  • Review your choices
  • Look at the pros and cons of each choice
  • Make the best decision you can based on the empirical evidence in front of you.

The problem is, that has all the warmth and caring of an accounting (my apology to my accountant friends). No, you have to go further.

When my mother refused the care-giver in her home recently, both of my brothers decided a slower, ‘walk before you run’ approach might be best. My interviews and analysis were no match for their caring attitudes.

“What does Mom feel like, having someone new in her home?”

“When did Mom decide this was what she wanted?”

So we’ve scaled our plans back to a helper there one day a week, just to aid with laundry, some food preparation, light housework, etc. The hope is that, as Mom’s comfort level grows, the days and times the care-giver is there can be increased.

We’re all on the power of attorney document and any of us could try to power our way through the others. But no one would be helped by that. Especially not Mom. We’ll continue to work together. And Mom, who was the reason for our efforts, will live out her days with a little more comfort, a little less worry, and with three boys who are doing their best to take care of her.
Please continue sharing your stories with us of how you are taking care of your mom. And if you have questions for us, send them here, or privately, to [email protected] We promise to contact you and do all we can to help you on your journey with your aging loved ones.