We all want the best for our loved ones. My mom wanted to stay in her own house ‘for as long as possible.’ And that’s what my brothers and I did. We put as much support around her as we could. We tried to take care of the house, which was built in the 60’s so it needed consistent attention by 2010, and allowed her to stay in her home.
What changed, however, was mom. She was no longer the vibrant, “digging in the garden and hanging out the laundry” person she had always been. And most of us do not contemplate those types of changes when we say “I want to stay in my own home because I’m comfortable here.” You are comfortable because you can easily get up and down those flights of stairs, and you don’t mind shoveling snow.
The things that change for your loved one may feel too ‘close to home’ to talk about. Let me tell you – you need to talk about those changes. You can be honest without being brutal.
About three months after mom moved into assisted living, she was just starting to get acclimated to the ‘new normal’ that she was living. I asked her “Do you miss having to worry about the house? Are all the doors locked? Are the windows closed?” She looked at me and breathed a huge, intentional sigh of relief. She was relieved and I was glad of it.
Things changed for us, and it was mom who had changed. She was no longer able to care for that house. You can help your loved one by helping make the decision on what is best. Don’t be afraid to talk about what those changes are, even if it is mom or dad who has changed.
Please contact Mateya Law Firm to help you with your estate planning and administration needs.