There are many thoughts that crossed our minds when my brothers and I began this journey of taking care of our mother. If you have followed our story, you know that what Mom wanted more than anything was to remain in her own home. And, like good children, we did everything we could to make that happen. That was uppermost in our mind.
Then, with time, it began to be clear that home was no longer the safest place for Mom to be alone. In-home care-givers helped, a little, but they could only break her fall (both figuratively and literally), not prevent it. Our minds were on the immediate, to get mom out of danger.
Assisted living was not what Mom wanted, but it was what she needed. “You’ve failed your mother” is what went through our minds, but we knew we were doing and thinking the best things for her.
So what things didn’t we think about? What didn’t we look for, that looking back,could have made life better for her all along? Being sure she had completed her routine dental work; Insisting on cleaning the carpets in her house; Gourmet meals every once in a while. Don’t get the idea that she was in squalor or poverty. Far from it. But we didn’t think about these things because we were so concerned about the big things that we missed too many chances to make her life better right where she was.
Think about your own life and the things you take for granted. You can probably make a positive effect on your senior loved ones by making some small contributions to their routine. Don’t be so concerned with the ‘big issues’ that you miss small chances to make their lives better everyday.
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